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mamakay

managing a household of 10 by the grace of God

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How Yoga Helped Me Fight Depression

December 7, 2020 by mamakay Leave a Comment

yoga depression

Three years ago, on a dark Thursday evening in November, I walked into a community room in the back of the library and joined a beginner’s yoga class with 3 other people. I was so nervous. I knew I needed to take care of my body and I decided that Yoga was a good place to start. After 19 years of being a mother to 8 babies, I finally had the space to do something for myself. My youngest was nearly 3 years old and I had just had a miscarriage (my 3rd one) and was finding myself spiraling into a bad space. Something had to change. That something was me.

Jessica was a wonderful instructor. She was patient. She taught me to breath. She taught me to work hard but knew when she has pushed me far enough. And at the end of class there is time to just be. To melt into the floor. To breathe. To pray. No one to poke me or ask me a question or disturb me in any way. The smell of essential oils on my palm ties me to the feeling of peace as we end the class. And Namaste reminds me that there is a light in me just as there is in everyone I meet.

When I think back to that first yoga class it brings tears to my eyes. It was there I began the journey to rediscover myself. It was there that I began to value time spent in my body. It is there I learned to pay more attention to myself. To breath. To correct my posture. To look for the light.

My struggle with depression is not over. It comes and goes. My life has changed in so many ways since that night. I now have a therapist and take medication to help me. I regularly have time to myself to write and work through my thoughts and ideas. I have learned to speak up more instead of shutting down. I am a part of a class at church that is helping me face my challenges and learn to grow as a part of a group. I still have a long way to go but for me that first step was joining a yoga class.

Three years later, I still love going to my yoga class almost every week. Jessica now has her own beautiful studio. The class is still small. Sometimes, I am the only one there. Week after week, she challenges me, helps me to improve, strengthens me. And at the end of class we take a moment to melt, to just be. Oils that linger on my hands remind me of my time in class. Once again, I am reminded that there is light in each one of us.

Namaste.

http://mamakay.com/WordPress/2018/02/what-is-saving-my-life-february-2018/

Filed Under: Blog, general thoughts, Health, self-care Tagged With: depression

Hello Mornings: How to build a good morning routine

October 4, 2018 by mamakay Leave a Comment

hello mornings

Ah, mornings. I love the Bible verse in Lamentations 3:22-23 that says “His mercies are new every morning.” Each day we have a new opportunity to start over. To be intentional about how we spend this particular day. I can choose sleep if I had a rough night (and that really might be the best option), I can choose to wake up earlier than my family to have a few moments to myself or I can hit that snooze button just a couple more times and be rushed through my morning.

For years I have worked on creating a good morning time routine. Some seasons it has worked better than others (read: babies). I have often been frustrated that even when I have the best plans laid out I get interrupted or I am exhausted and can’t execute them in the way I want.

This past year I was excited to hear about Kat Lee’s new book, Hello Mornings. The by-line is “how to build a grace-filled, life-giving morning routine.” She deep dives into her idea of 3 minute mornings. The concept is that baby steps will help you meet your goals. Start with very small steps and then build on them and on days when time is short you can return to those 3 minutes and it will still bless your day. Her steps are 1. God Time 2. Plan Time 3. Move Time. Doing these 3 things everyday makes such a huge difference.

Since I started following her advice I have been so much more consistent in working these things into my morning! I always want to go big or stay in bed, lol! But following her advice I notice that even when I am only able to do 3 minutes it still makes my day go so much better.

God Time

For God Time my one minute is to recite a Bible verse (frequently Psalm 143:8), say a quick prayer and sing a song of praise. My longer version includes journaling in Write the Word the Bible passage for the day, praying (using my prayer journal) and listening to praise music.

Plan Time

For Plan Time my one minute is to look over my calendar for the day. My longer version is to sit down and write out my to do list for the day and assign tasks to certain times of the day as necessary.

Move Time

For Move Time my one minute is to do a very short yoga routine in which I do Mountain Pose, Forward Fold a couple times and a Downward Dog. My longer version is do a 15 minute yoga routine using the Yoga Studio app on my phone.

Do you have a solid morning routine? What do you do to be consistent at making sure it happens? I would love to hear!

MamaKay

Filed Under: Books, self-care Tagged With: Books, hellomornings, write31days

What is Saving My Life – February 2018

February 2, 2018 by mamakay 6 Comments

lemons

Modern Mrs Darcy has encouraged us here in the middle of winter to stop and reflect on What is Saving My Life. I love doing this exercise. So here are a few things from my list:

Yoga – I have been hesitant to do yoga for several years because I thought it was all about Eastern religions. But after hearing many people I respect say that it helped them, I decided to give it a try and I absolutely love it! I attend a class weekly at our local gym and follow a couple of people on YouTube at home. (My favorites are Yoga with Adriene and Brett Larkin Yoga). During the month of January I actually did yoga every single day! I have never been this consistent at any exercise before. I did yoga before bed and chose a video based on my energy levels and what time it was. They ranged from 7 to 30 minutes.

Reading – Last year I reclaimed my love of reading and read more than I have in years and I have continued that trend through this winter. I am trying to read 2 fiction books and 1+ non-fiction every month. I think I will write a separate post on the books I am reading.

She Reads Truth Bible Studies – I am currently working on the Letters of Encouragement: 1 & 2 Thessalonians. I just love the beauty of these books and the encouragement to be in the Word daily. I have been getting up nearly every morning around 6 am so I can spend some time in the Word before the kids get up.

Twinkly Lights – We put up lights at Christmas and we loved them so much we’ve kept them up for the foreseeable future.  The days are so short this time of year that they help brighten up our days

PowerSheets from Cultivate What Matters – I worked hard to fill out these sheets to start the new year and I have never been as successful at keeping my goals as I have so far this year. I love the thoughtfulness and grace that is contained in this workbook. They are sold out but I highly recommend you consider getting them when they are available again if you need help figuring out what you want your life to look like and how to actually make that happen!

Felt Letter Board – I bought myself this for Christmas and I absolutely love it! Words are my jam and this makes it easy to create inspiration and change it whenever I want to.

Echo Dot – I also splurged the end of last year and got an Echo Dot. It is so fun to be able to use. I mostly use it for listening to music and setting timers plus asking random questions. The kids love having her tell them jokes and asking for the weather forecast.

Amazon Music Unlimited (Family edition) – In conjunction with my Echo Dot, I love my Amazon Music! With the unlimited subscription I have found almost every song I ever want to hear is included. I have so many playlists as I enjoy a wide range of music and now it is easy to listen to whatever I am in the mood for. We did upgrade to the family plan so people would quit kicking me off!

Lemon Honey Tea – My in-laws live in Arizona and sent me a box of lemons. I love squeezing half a lemon, mixing it with a tablespoon of honey and then filling my cup with warm water. It is the perfect drink to start the day with!

Podcasts – I am not really an audio learner but I have found that podcasts have improved certain times of my day by giving me something to think about while I am doing my least favorite tasks like washing dishes (Do you know that’s the one time when everyone will leave you alone?) or driving to pick people up.

Wednesday Kitchen Days – I have given myself permission to have a slow day on Wednesday. The kids do their independent work for school and I spend extra time in the kitchen, cleaning and baking and not stressing about the day.

What is saving your life right now? I would love to hear!

MamaKay

*some of the links in this post are affiliate links. I will get a small commission if you purchase something using the link that helps pay for this website. Thank you for your support!

Filed Under: general thoughts, powersheets, self-care

January Reflections

January 29, 2018 by mamakay Leave a Comment

Tending List

How are you doing? Have you done all of the things you set out to do this month? Are you claiming the mantra: February is the new January? It’s true you know! There is nothing magical about January 1st. February 1st is just as good of a starting day. As is any Monday. Not so sure about Friday but thanks be to God his mercies are new every morning. We can have a fresh start anytime! We just have to claim it.

I have been amazed! This has been my best January ever! Did I accomplish everything? By no means! But I have established some good habits and accomplished many things that I wanted to accomplish. There are a couple reasons why I think I have done better this time around. One is PowerSheets! I know I keep raving about them but they really helped me to process what is important to me and why and that has motivated me to keep practicing. Another thing is that I have come to realize that during this season of life my goals need to be more of a crafting of my daily life and habits than big projects. The final key to my success the last couple years is tracking! I have made habit trackers in my bullet journal and also used the Tending List in the PowerSheets. It really helps me stay on track and/or realize that I may need to re-evaluate what I am trying to accomplish if I am consistently not following through on particular items on my list. It just may not be the season for that thing.

So what have I been successful at? I have gotten up at 6 am almost every weekday this month. I have done yoga every single day this month!! (Guys this is amazing! I have never done something every single day without missing, ever!) I have read my Bible almost everyday. I’ve also read a book nearly everyday. Most evenings I have sat down and reflected on my day and checked my schedule and created my to-do list for the next day. I’ve worked on building community and spent special time with my family.

What have I missed? I have not been getting nearly enough steps in. (But it is January and there is a sheet of ice covering the ground outside.) I have not drank enough water. And my kitchen is still dirty almost everyday when I call it quits for the day. I am still a work in progress and I am ok with that. At least I am making progress!

I hope you are finding your groove and building a life for yourself that provides happiness and meaning.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

MamaKay

Filed Under: powersheets, self-care

What I Learned this Fall

November 30, 2017 by mamakay 1 Comment

I’ve been following Emily P. Freeman (especially her podcast: The Next Right Thing) and she encouraged us to reflect on a season instead of waiting until the end of the year. I found it very helpful this summer so I’m back for the fall edition. Go to : http://emilypfreeman.com/wwl-fall-2017/ to see her post.

  1. I learned that personal retreats are a wonderful and needful thing for me. I wrote about it here.
  2. Loss although painful can bring healing and a closeness to God and to others that just doesn’t seem to happen when all is well.
  3. I learned that it is time to let go of the idol having more children. It would seem that eight is enough for us. I love my family and I adore little babies but at 43 the time has come to be done with that phase of my life.
  4. I love candles! For so many years I have hesitated to use them because I have so many little ones around but no more! I found some cute unscented candles on Amazon that I can use on the mantel and for entertaining.
  5. I like to start groups! I sat in the background feeling sad that I didn’t have ways to have meaningful connections with others. This year I have made great efforts to start groups: an IF:Table group for ladies, a women’s Bible study and most recently a Supper Club for couples (so the men could participate too). It has been so worth it to invest in these groups of people and move beyond surface conversations through intentional questions.
  6. I love decorating my mantel! I needed a place of beauty instead of a collecting spot for all the stuff people didn’t want the toddler to get, so I reclaimed it! I intend to decorate it seasonally and preserve it as a place of beauty in our home.
  7. Setting up a special bullet journal for the holidays is so helpful! Last year I had a separate journal but I used a small one. This year I got the idea from Aimee Kollmansberger to create a bullet journal to use for years to come to collect all the ideas and lists instead of recreating everything every year.
  8. Gratitude really is my lifeline. I never stay very consistent at journaling my lists but I find that when I do it really grounds me and it is so wonderful to be able to read back through my lists from the last several years.
  9. Spotify is actually pretty cool! I’ve put off using it for several years now but after several recommendations from my eldest daughter I gave it a try. I love my music on Amazon but it is such a nice way to be able to share music with others and to hear new music.
  10. “Being a mom is a lot like being a life coach,” my 10 year old daughter told me as we were taking a walk. I’ve been pondering this ever since. I think she is right and it is such a perspective change for me.

How about you? What have you learned this fall? I’d love to hear from you!

MamaKay

Filed Under: Faith, general thoughts, self-care

Life and Loss

November 6, 2017 by mamakay 5 Comments

*Content Warning: This post contains a personal description of a miscarriage

I sit here looking out the window on this cold snowy day thankful for the quietness the snow brings and the warmth from my fireplace. I’m feeling a little better than the last few days but when I try to push to hard my body tells me in no uncertain terms that I am not ready to move on quite yet. You see, I just lost a baby over the weekend. I want to just hide and close in but I sense that God is telling me that only through pushing past the hurt and sharing my pain can I truly be healed and he can use me to comfort others. I think it is so hard to let others into our pain. I feel so vulnerable. But when I don’t I feel so isolated and find myself spiraling in despair. It is only within true community that we allow ourselves to be cared for and the healing comes so much quicker.

This isn’t my first time. In fact, it is my third. I have hid in my grief and I have shared my grief. And I’m here to tell you that although it is ever so hard when I have shared my grief the load has been lightened. Both physically with people offering what assistance they can and emotionally being able to be prayed for and uplifted by others and as well as just the tenderness of a hug and extra kindness extended.

It’s so odd to me as I process this pregnancy. I was hesitant to share our joy of a new baby for fear of what people would say. I’m over 40 now and we already have 8 children and people have so many opinions about such things. Honestly, we thought we were done. I am getting older and this was the longest we had ever gone without getting pregnant. It was quite an adjustment of my thinking to add another one to our family when our oldest turns 19 this month. But we have always trusted that God knows what our family should look like and have faith that as the Creator of all life we are willing to follow what he has in store for us. We told very few people that we were expecting.

And then after just getting cleared by the doctor the night before to go ahead and use a midwife again I started bleeding Friday morning.  It was just a little bit but I knew this was a sign of the end. We were 9 weeks along. I was emotionally wrecked. I pretty much spent the entire day crying on and off and told only my husband and my sisters what was going on. My husband was kind enough to take the afternoon off of work so he could attend to the kids while I holed myself up in my room.  He was also such an encouragement to me and held me and cried with me as he was suffering the loss as well. My two year old sweetly hugged me again and again and asked me why I was crying? I tried to check out, reading some fiction to take me to another world. I prayed. I listened to Christy Nockel’s new album, Be Held and ate ice cream and too much Turtle Chex. I was so sad.

On Saturday the emotional pain was less but the physical pain increased. I was bleeding more including small pieces of tissue and had cramps like a bad period. I spent most of the day in bed watching tv with the kids and reading my book. I reached out to a couple more people and a sweet lady from church brought us dinner and some flowers for me.

I woke up early Sunday morning (especially early since time changed over night) with the beginnings of contractions. My husband went to church to teach Bible class and the kids were all home with me sick with sore throats and coughs (because that’s life in a big family this time of year). Thankfully they were content to watch tv.

The contractions intensified just as they do in labor only they aren’t as strong as when I’ve been in labor. Around 10 am I passed the baby and the placenta. The baby was too little and I couldn’t see it among the tissues. I got a hold of my midwife and she told me to watch for a fever and also if I bled enough to fill 2 pads in 30 minutes to get to the emergency room immediately. The bleeding lessened as the day progressed and I haven’t had any complications. The emotions washed over me anew. My husband came right home and held me and I just cried and cried.

During the course of the day I shared my grief with many of those closest to us. They were sweet, provided meals for us, prayed for us and just acknowledged our grief. There really isn’t much that can be done. Just being there for someone means so much. Letting them know they are loved and that its ok to grieve and that someone cares means the world. (And food is always nice especially when there are others in the house that still like to eat even if Mom isn’t feeling up to cooking.)

By evening I felt more like myself and was able to eat dinner with the family and get a shower. I was worn out and was asleep before 9 pm. (Which was good since my little guys needed me in the wee hours. The world doesn’t stop needing us Mamas.)

I plan to take it easy this week and ease back into our normal routines just like I would after having a baby only a little faster. I know that waves of grief will hit me unexpectedly and that it will take a couple of weeks for my body to heal and longer than that for my heart. But healing will come. God is ever so present in the pain and I can feel his presence as He walks through this with me never leaving me alone in the pain. I process through writing and I want you to know that although it hurts, healing does come. It comes in waves, little by little, it changes until the pain is dulled and the thoughts of what may have been give way to what is and although this little life was short it will always be remembered.

We all have trials we must face but let’s share our burdens with one another that the love of Christ can be felt by those around us. I have shared my experience in such detail so that others might know what to expect or might have a little better understanding of what it is like.

These were my experiences, yours will be different. I pray that by sharing we both will feel less alone and will have the strength to carry on come what may.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

 

MamaKay


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So glad you stopped by. I am a Christian wife and mother of 8 in the middle years. My kids are aged 4 to 20 and just about every 2 years in between. I write about our life as a big family, what God is personally doing in my life, food and books.

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